Finding Your Style

Finding your own style is about figuring out what you like and don’t like.

It is not about following every single trend and fad that comes along, nor is it about buying expensive designer clothes. It’s one thing to buy the occasional investment piece, but it’s quite another to max out your credit cards, just to look “good.” It is my experience that most designer clothes generally not worth the listed price. There are a few exceptions, such as with good suits, shoes, and coats, but even then you don’t have to break the bank.

But back to finding your own style. Here are some tips if you’re at a loss to what your style is:

First, look in your closet. What type of clothes do you own the most of? What kind do you wear the most? What kind do you love the most? What have you not worn in a long time, and why not?

Second, clean out anything you haven’t worn in more than a year (unless it fits and is special-occasion, such as a suit or little black dress). Especially throw out clothes you are “saving” until you lose weight. Keeping these too-small clothes is destructive because it leads to low self esteem, a denial of reality, and not accepting yourself. Fashion might be about supermodels, but style is about YOU!

Third, look at what you have left. Especially your favorite pieces. Why do you like them? How do they make you feel when you wear them? Are they comfortable? Do they make you feel sexy? What do they have in common? How are they different? Then look at the pieces you wear the most often. Are they the same as your favorites? Why or why not? If the clothes you wear the most often are different from your favorites because of work (for instance, you may love jeans and open-toed sandals, but work might demand power suits and pumps), try to incorporate aspects of your favorites into the clothes you wear the most (for example, dark denim trousers or peep-toe pumps to work).

Fourth, if you’re at a loss for a cohesive style, try browsing fashion mags (paper or online) and cutting out (or copying and saving to a file) things that strike you and you really like. Don’t pay attention to the listed price of things, but also don’t necessarily get hung up on a specific piece. Look for cuts and shapes and details and colors that you love, and pay attention to trends you like, too, but don’t be a slave to the season. Some style trends (such as the military trend) can span seasons and even years. Try also looking at clothing from the past. This is where many of today’s trends, such as the empire waist, military jackets, fifties sweater sets, and wedge shoes come from. Start from the beginning (with the Greeks?) and move forward in time. Make note of styles you like, but keep in mind that the idea is not to replicate these fashions of the past exactly (unless of course, you are a historical reenactor!), but to take the basic idea and update it!

Fifth, do the same thing with pieces you think would look good on your body. Do they match? If they do, head out to a store, try to find the equivalents, and try them on! Trying clothes on before you buy is VERY IMPORTANT! If it doesn’t fit right, and/or you don’t love it, don’t buy it! If what you like and what you think would look good on you, don’t match, ask yourself, “Why not?” Is it because you wish your body was different? Like having longer legs, a flatter belly, smaller butt, bigger boobs, (the list could go on)? Well, guess what? So does every other woman on the planet. The key to realstyle, is making the body you have look good. And y’know what? If you do lose weight, you can always get your favorites tailored to fit the new you, or treat yourself to a new wardrobe!

Sixth, head out to the stores! I myself am a bit of a marathon shopper. I like to get up early on a Saturday (well, early for the weekend), plan out what stores I’m headed to first, with an idea of what I would like to buy, put on some comfy shoes and nude-colored underwear (essential for trying on both white and sheer clothing), and head on out! With a good breakfast and a planned lunch break, of course.

Seventh, grab lots of different stuff that you like, looking for shapes, details, and colors. Grab more than one size when dealing with new brands (I try to be more efficient by taking different colors in different sizes and going back to get whatever size and color I like best) because fit is much more important than the number on the tag. Remember, muffin tops (the side-bulge that even the skinniest girls get from too-tight pants) looks good on no one!

Eighth, when you’ve got a good arm-full of stuff, head to the fitting room! ALWAYS try everything on; sizes and fits vary a great deal from brand to brand and even season to season. Then, once you’re in the fitting room, use the mirror (or better yet, mirrors) to see how you look from every angle. Does a blouse pouf in a weird spot? Are the darts wrong? Are the pants loose in the waist but tight in the thighs? Keep in mind that some things like too-long pants and sleeves, too-big waists, or misplaced darts can often be fixed by a good tailor or seamstress. However, even the world’s best tailor cannot make something that is too small, bigger! I personally prefer to look elsewhere if something off the rack doesn’t fit, but sometimes there is no other option. And remember to try things on as you would wear them. That means using a belt if you wear one, high-heels if you intend to wear them, and a collared shirt for jackets. These things can make a difference in what you buy, depending on how it looks.

Ninth, now that you’re sure you look good, try to move around a bit in the clothes you’re trying on. Especially important: sitting down! If boning in a dress or a too-low waistband means you can’t sit down, don’t buy it! Comfort is just as important as looking good (though don’t expect to find things that feel like sweatpants and slippers). This will also help you see how short pants and skirts and dresses get when you sit down. Don’t forget to wave your arms around a bit. Are the shoulders too tight? The arms? The bust? You might need to go up a size, or find a different cut.

Finally, head to the checkout, but don’t feel you need to break the bank! I like to shop on Saturdays because department stores and malls often have sales on these days. And don’t feel pressure to buy your entire wardrobe in one fell swoop! Buy basic pieces and a few special pieces, but feel free to stretch your purchases out over weeks and even months. Clearance can be your friend, but never buy something just because it’s cheap. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you don’t love it, don’t buy it! If it doesn’t fit, don’t buy it! Buying between seasons (late summer, early winter, late spring, etc.) can help cut the price of things by half or a third (sometimes more). It is best to buy quality, but classic pieces at this time because they will be cheaper, but not so trendy that they’re not in style next season.

Now that you’ve got your stylish new clothes, be sure to have fun! Be yourself and do what you love. Conventional wisdom is not always wise. And for godssakes, do not try to do every trend at once. That never looks good. If you feel the need to be trendy, take it one trend at a time and pair said trend with basic, classic stuff, so you don’t overdo it.

That said, head out and show the world the new (and stylishly improved) you!